It won’t be long before we start living on Mars, and you can be sure that Singapore will be one of the first nations to set up a colony there. After all, we have no natural resources or land of our own to speak of, so better go and chope a place in a new planet first right?

But Mars is pretty far away, and they’ll have to put us all in hibernation in order to send us to Mars (otherwise we’d have to carry a lot of food and dispose of a lot of human waste on the way there). That’s what happens in Passengers… except that they wake up halfway.

What would a Singaporean do if he or she woke up halfway in the middle of a long space flight? Long haul flights already buay tahan, do you think we’d be able to survive a months-long space flight? Let’s take a look at the first reactions of Singaporeans waking up on a spaceship.

1. Look for wireless fidelity

The truth about toilets and wifi. Credit: Engineering Insider Facebook Page

The truth about toilets and wifi. Credit: Engineering Insider Facebook Page

If you don’t know what wifi stands for, now you do. It’s short for wireless fidelity. Internet access. The source of all our entertainment and news. Having Internet access ultimately means that we can satiate our basest urges, as the recent photo shared by Ho Ching illustrates (see above).

We already ask for the wifi password in virtually every establishment we know – who’s to say we won’t do the same on a spaceship in the middle of nowhere? I bet after spending so much time without wifi, we’ll log into anything that’s available, regardless of safety.

2. Call 999

Don't anyhow dial 999!

Don’t anyhow dial 999!

Quick, what’s your first reaction when you see something illegal?

OK, fine, you’ll take a photo.

But what about after that? You’ll call police right? This is Singapore, so the first thing we’ll do is to look for the authorities and make sure they do something about it. If citizens can write forum letters about how people should not use escalators because it will wear them out, we’ll find something to call police about on a spaceship far, far away.

3. Look for the spaceship license plate number

Buy 4D! Buy a lot of 4D! Credit: Pixabay

Buy 4D! Buy a lot of 4D! Credit: Pixabay

Why on Earth Why on Mars would we be doing something like this? For one very good reason – to buy 4D. Yes, we’ll have bought already, when they boarded the spaceship. But such a trip will take years, and if your spaceship breaks down (choy!) then you really should buy 4D. Never know right, these kinds of things very heng suay one.

4. Use a tissue packet to “chope” their pods

Ok this place has been choped.

Ok this place has been choped.

We’re already very particular about sitting on seats that previous occupants have already warmed up, so if we’ve hibernated in a pod, we definitely don’t want anyone else sleeping there. They’re effectively beds, after all.

If we’re sharing the spaceship with other countries, they’d be very puzzled to see tissue paper packets all over the pods. But as long as they don’t sleep in your pod, it doesn’t matter.

5. Complain

Keyboard warriors. Credit: Pexels

Keyboard warriors. Credit: Pexels

Read any news article on Facebook and you’ll see plenty of complaints in the comments section. It’s almost given that nothing will please Singaporeans. Put a Singapore flag there and they’ll complain it’s not exactly the same dimensions as the original. Give out free wifi and they’ll say it’s not fast enough. No, seriously, the first thing we’ll complain about when we wake up is the air-con and how it’s not cold/hot enough.

Then we’ll look for wifi and chope our pods.

Passengers. Credit: Golden Village Cinemas

Passengers. Credit: Golden Village Cinemas

In Passengers, Jim (Chris “Starlord” Pratt) and Aurora (Jennifer “Mystique” Lawrence) wake up 90 years too early on a spaceship with 5,000 hibernating passengers. They’re going to a planet that’s much, much further than Mars (the fictional planet of Homestead II). Of course, they soon discover that something has gone horribly wrong with the spaceship, and it’s up to them to save everyone before the ship becomes a lifeless wreck in space.

If only they could call the Guardians of the Galaxy or the X-Men for help in Passengers. If only.

 

Credits: Engineering Insider Facebook Page, Pixabay, Pexels, Golden Village Cinemas