Everybody thinks about The Secret Life of Pets and what they do when we owners are not looking, but how about pet owners? Have you ever thought about what pet owners secretly do when non-pet owners aren’t looking at them?

You might think I’m exaggerating, but it’s true. If you don’t own a pet, go stalk your pet owner friends and observe how they behave when they aren’t with you, a non-pet owner. If you’re a pet owner, admit it. There are just some things you can’t do in front of your non-pet owner friends, lest they think you’re insane.

So today, The Popping Post presents to you – The Secret Life of Singaporean Pet Owners.

1. Start separate Instagram accounts for their pets

An Instagram worthy picture. Credit: Favim.com

An Instagram worthy picture. Credit: Favim.com

If you’re a pet owner, half of the people you follow on Instagram aren’t even people – they’re animals. OK, so they’re people pretending to be animals (or the more sane ones actually admit to being human beings taking pictures of animals), but they hashtag and post and tag like they’re animals. But it’s fact that pet accounts can gain a staggering number of followers, because everyone likes animals. It also gives pet owners the sense that their pets are making friends with other pets, although in reality the pet owners are just befriending other pet owners.

For non-pet owners – that’s where all your cute cat videos come from. Pet owners pretending to be pets.

2. Inhale their pets’ scent when others are not watching

Smelly! Credit: AZCache

Smelly! Credit: AZCache

While most of us can detect if a wet dog has been inside the elevator just before us and we try our best to hold our noses until we reach our floor, pet owners actually revel in their pets’ scent. In the privacy of their own home, they will pick up their chinchilla, guinea pig, cat, rabbit or wet dog and INHALE what they deem to be the glorious fragrance of their pet. Of course, in front of strangers, relatives or acquaintances, they will complain that their pets smell. It’s the equivalent of parents putting down their children in front of other people when they’re actually humblebragging (“no la, my girl only got 299 for her PSLE, not perfect score”). Watch carefully and you’ll notice how they sneak in praises about their pets as if they were children because pets are, after all, surrogate children.

3. Buy special pet accessories for them

Dapper pets... does that make them dappets? Credit: Plus Pets

Dapper pets… does that make them dappets? Credit: Plus Pets

Pet owners never buy pet accessories when they’re in the company of non-pet owners. There’s no scientific reason why, except that maybe they’re scared they’d get judged by non-pet owners. After all, it’s not like the pet is there physically choosing it, pets are mainly colour blind, and what do pets need with accessories anyway? There’s a booming market for them though, if Taobao is any indication.

Or even Amazon.

4. Send them to pet hotels while on holiday

Which room to check in to? Credit: Nature Picture Selection

Which spa treatment shall I book today? Credit: Nature Picture Selection

On the surface, it makes sense – if the owner is at a hotel, then similarly the pet should also stay in a hotel right? Yet the more logical thing to do would be to send them off to the care of a close friend or relative. If we’re going with the pets as children analogy, then the pet hotel reasoning breaks down. Would parents send their children to a hotel to stay if they’re overseas, or would they send them to stay with a loved one?

But if there are spa treatments at the pet hotel, then the choice is clear.

5. Cook for their pets

Home-cooked food. Credit: Taxi Dog

Home-cooked food. Credit: Taxi Dog

There’s no greater expression of love than to cook a meal for your loved ones, and so pet owners cook for their pets – in secret. If you’re not a pet owner then it’s pretty odd, since you’d expect that animals don’t need to have their food cooked (they certainly don’t cook their food in the wild). But if you’re a pet owner then you know that cooked food helps with the digestion sometimes, especially when it comes to bones, and you kill all that yucky bacteria your domesticated pet’s gut cannot handle. There’s a good reason for cooking for your pets!

Just don’t let non-pet owners know.

The Secret Life of Pets. Credit: Golden Village Cinemas

The Secret Life of Pets. Credit: Golden Village Cinemas

Now that you know about The Secret Life of Singaporean Pet Owners, it’s time to turn your attention to The Secret Life of Pets! The animated comedy shows us exactly what pets do and say when our backs are turned, which can be pretty surprising. But the pets themselves learn just how much they need their owners as well when they get into trouble.

Will the pets reunite with their pet owners? Catch The Secret Life of Pets to find out!

 

Credits: Favim.com, AZCache, Plus Pets, Nature Picture Selection, Taxi Dog, Golden Village Cinemas