We love our mums, we really do – after all, how can we help but love the woman who buys chicken essence for us during exams, brews barley water when we’re sick, and makes kaya sandwiches for us when we’re sad? But as much as we love Mummy Dearest, we have to confess that she can sometimes be a bit… naggy. Maybe it’s a function of being an Asian parent – mums are never satisfied with anything we do, and are always striving for us to be better.

So here are the top five irritating things that mums like to say to us (though she means well!), as well as smart replies to counter what she says!

1. “Why do you always stay at home and don’t go out?”

That face just says nope! Credit: The Rise of Asian Americans from 1970 to 1989

That face just says nope! Credit: The Rise of Asian Americans from 1970 to 1989

The only reason Mummy Dearest knows we always stay at home is because she also always stays at home, what! Pot calling the kettle black. Besides, staying at home is cheaper than going out – there’s free food, free WiFi, free air-conditioning. Why wouldn’t we want to stay at home all day?

Counter: “Mummy, I stay at home so I can be closer to you because I lurve you very much.”

2. “When are you getting a girlfriend/boyfriend/married?”

No mater how young you are. Credit: Quizony

No mater how young you are. Credit: Quizony

Sometimes when mums have nothing to nag at, they’ll focus on non-existent people – like your future spouse. Why isn’t s/he here yet? Why don’t you get one? When will you produce grandchildren for her? But let mum catch you swiping away on Tinder and she’ll start lecturing you on how dangerous it is to get attached on the Internet.

Counter: “But Mummy, if I have a girlfriend/boyfriend then I wouldn’t be able to spend time with you.”

3. “Why do you always go out until so late?”

You know you did something wrong again... Credit: Headlines & Global News

You know you did something wrong again… Credit: Headlines & Global News

You can’t win – stay at home and mum will scold, go out and she will ask you to come home early. Depending on how old you are, “late” can be anything from 8.00 pm to 1.00 am. Of course, if you return at 1.00 am you are technically coming home very early, but good luck trying to explain that to your mother.

Counter: “Working late to earn money so you and Daddy can retire early.” (does not work if you come home smelling like you partied late though)

4. “Why can’t you do better than [name of neighbour/cousin/brother/sister/friend]?”

Sometimes it is literally comparing apples to oranges. Credit: simplicant

Sometimes it is literally comparing apples to oranges. Credit: simplicant

The real reason your mum is saying this is because she lost face when someone confronted her and said you were doing worse than neighbour/cousin/brother/sister/friend. It’s worse if you’re being compared to your sibling – if you do better, then your sister/brother will end up getting an earful of Mummy’s ire. No matter how old we are, mums can’t stop comparing, be it grades or salaries or how big that diamond is on the engagement ring.

Counter: “I don’t want to make [name of neighbour/cousin/brother/sister/friend] feel embarrassed, their mother just scolded them.”

5. Why are you always on your phone/computer/tablet?

It's just a phone! Credit: Emma Johnson

It’s just a phone! Credit: Emma Johnson

This being the digital age, we are inevitably always on some sort of digital device (how else are you reading this hilarious article, right?). But mums brought us up in an era where you couldn’t just Google the life-threatening disease which caused that small red rash on your left toe. So any amount of time on our gadgets, however minute, will seem like “always” to Mummy. And you know, it’s only going to get worse when Pokemon GO is released in Singapore…

Counter: “I’m looking for boyfriend/girlfriend on the Internet so you can have grandchildren.”

Bad Moms. Credit: Golden Village Cinemas

Bad Moms. Credit: Golden Village Cinemas

Regardless of what Mummy Dearest says, it’s because she’s a Good Mum, and not like the horrible mothers in Bad Moms! Catch Mila Kunis, Kristen Bell, and Kathryn Hahn (from Parks and Rec) as they snap from the pressure of being a perfect mother, and indulge themselves as Bad Moms. It’s every mum’s (secret) fantasy to be one of those Bad Moms, so just subtly let her read this article and she’ll be in the cinemas in no time!

Of course, if you really want to be nice to your mum, then give her a break this Wednesday (July 27) by buying her a ticket to the Bad Moms Chillax Night, which even comes  with a bottle of beer! We promise we won’t tell.

Credits: The Rise of Asian Americans from 1970 to 1989, Quizony, Headlines & Global News, simplicant, Emma Johnson, Golden Village Cinemas