Babies are adorable. But they’re also very, very difficult to take care of. If you’re a parent, I can already see you nodding your head in agreement, and your eyebags from all that sleep deprivation. Ask any parent of a newborn and they’ll tell you the thing they miss most in the world is undisturbed slumber, and they’ll give anything to be able to get one good night’s rest. But oddly, the parents in Ghost Wife don’t seem to have that issue, despite the fact that they have to take care of an infant.

Ghost Wife. Credit: Golden Village Cinemas

Nard (Supawadee Kitisopakul) and Mac (Chitiwat Wattanasiripong) in Ghost Wife. Credit: Golden Village Cinemas

Just look at them! They’re far too well rested to be nursing a newborn. And there’s a good reason for that.

It’s because their newborn is a ghost baby.

And if you think about it, ghost babies seem to be much easier to take care of than real babies – at least in movies. We looked on the light side of life and discovered some perks to having a ghost baby, and once you see how much more manageable they are than live babies, maybe you won’t find them so terrifying anymore.

Or, maybe you won’t find your live human baby so tiresome anymore. Either way, it’s a win-win!

1. Ghost babies don’t wake you up every two hours for a feeding

Toshio from Ju-On 4: The Final Curse. Credit: Encore Films

Toshio from Ju-On 4: The Final Curse. Credit: Encore Films

Firstly, ghosts don’t really need sleep. They’ve more or less transcended such physical limitations, at the cost of being an immaterial ghost. So by that definition, ghost babies don’t actually need to sleep – nor do their ghost mothers. They’re just conscious all the time.

In addition, ghost babies only cry when they want to lure some poor human victim near them. They hardly ever cry because they’re hungry. Think of Ju-On‘s Toshio – he never cries for food. He just takes a bite out of whichever poor human he’s haunting.

So that’s one reason why ghost mothers look so fresh (as fresh as a ghost can look, that is). Their babies feed themselves.

 

2. Ghost babies don’t need to be fed milk

Casper and his uncles in 'Casper the Friendly Ghost'. Credit: Boothbay Register

Casper and his uncles in Casper the Friendly Ghost. Credit: Boothbay Register

Ever seen a ghost baby with a milk bottle? Or a ghost mother and her ghost baby in a nursing room? There’s a reason why.

Ghost babies don’t need milk to survive. They’re ghosts. They don’t need the same sort of sustenance that humans do, since they’re doomed to exist forever until their unfinished business is resolved. Even if they do need sustenance, it’s usually blood or life energy.

Some ghosts may be capable of eating food, like Casper and his uncles in Casper the Friendly Ghost. But they don’t need to eat – and hence, ghost babies don’t need to be fed.

 

3. Ghost babies never need to poop or pee

Cole Sear (Haley Joel Osment) in 'The Sixth Sense'. Credit: Unilad

Cole Sear (Haley Joel Osment) in The Sixth Sense. Credit: Unilad

One of the biggest expenses of raising a newborn (besides milk powder) is diapers. They seem to go through them faster than you can Instastory your next nappy change, and it’s amazing how much poop comes out despite their size. I mean, how does so little milk turn into so much waste?

But ghost babies don’t ever need to poop. Or pee. In fact, ghosts don’t have to poop or pee, because they don’t eat (see point 2) and hence whatever digestive system they have doesn’t go to work turning food into waste. Ghosts may haunt toilets – but they don’t ever have to use them.

Think about Cole Sear (Haley Joel Osment) in The Sixth Sense. He certainly didn’t need to go to the toilet in the whole film, and that kind of says something, doesn’t it?

 

4. Ghost babies don’t need to be bathed

Narn (Supawadee Kitisopakul) doesn't have to wash her long hair in 'Ghost Wife'. Credit: Golden Village Cinemas

Nard (Supawadee Kitisopakul) doesn’t have to wash her long hair in Ghost Wife. Credit: Golden Village Cinemas

Being immaterial, ghosts don’t need to be bathed. In fact, they can’t be bathed, since the water would pass right through them. They may sometimes turn corporeal (to lure human victims to them), but they don’t take material form long enough to get dirty.

For this reason, ghost babies don’t need to be bathed. They already don’t eat, poop, or pee, so they’re pretty clean by default. Not needing to be bathed is just an added bonus.

 

5. Ghost babies come with their own set of clothes

Ghost babies are always dressed in white. Credit: Pinterest

Ghost babies are usually dressed in white. Credit: Pinterest

For some reason, ghost babies usually wear white. Maybe it’s a fashion symbol or something, or they just don’t like the gender stereotypes of blue for boys, pink for girls. Anyway, you never have to buy clothes for a ghost baby, because it always comes with an outfit.

Even ghost infants come with a set of white swaddling clothes by default. You hardly ever see a naked ghost infant haunting humans in movies. They may be dressed in dirty swaddling clothes, but they’ll still be dressed.

Best part? Since baby ghosts don’t grow up, you never have to worry about them outgrowing their clothes.

 

6. Ghost babies can defend themselves very well

Ghost baby. Credit: No Faint Hearts In Fort Worth

Ghost baby. Credit: No Faint Hearts In Fort Worth

Being ghosts, ghost babies have a bunch of supernatural powers at their disposal. They usually have some measure of magic, in addition to telekinetic abilities and life-draining powers. If a real baby and a ghost baby were to have a fight, it’d be no contest. The ghost baby would win.

I mean, have you ever heard of ghost babies being kidnapped? Even ghost adults don’t kidnap other ghost babies, which kind of shows you that you never really have to worry about their safety.

Ghost Wife. Credit: Golden Village Cinemas

Ghost Wife. Credit: Golden Village Cinemas

Want to check if all these observations are true? Then head on over to catch Thai horror movie Ghost Wife and take special notice of the baby in the film (spoiler: it’s a ghost). The movie revolves around a tragic romance between a high school couple, which results in horrific consequences when the mother dies in childbirth. Despite having given birth to a baby that turned into a ghost, Nard (Supawadee Kitisopakul) still has a lot of time to terrify the people around her – because she doesn’t have to take care of her ghost baby.

But on a more serious note, Ghost Wife is a true supernatural romance that is quite touching, even if you’re screaming half the time. Then again, maybe the couple in Ghost Wife is so happy because they don’t have to spend so much time taking care of their baby (and thus, they have more time to pak tor)…

 

Still thinking about ghost children? Here’s what our paranormal experts at The Popping Post have to tell you:

 

Credits: Pinterest, No Faint Hearts in Fort Worth, Encore Films, Boothbay Register, Unilad, Golden Village Cinemas

 

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