If you’re a true DC fan, you probably dig one of their longest running animated series – Teen Titans! First debuting in 2003, the show ran for five seasons and a movie (Teen Titans: Trouble in Tokyo), before returning as a more kid-friendly version, Teen Titans Go! – which has also spawned five seasons and their lat est movie, Teen Titans Go! To The Movies!

The first series had a super-catchy theme song by Puffy Amiyumi, and alternated between the Japanese and English versions of the title song depending on the episode. The current Teen Titans Go! series isn’t quite as catchy, but it’s definitely much cuter.

But who are the Teen Titans? You can probably recognise Robin (Batman’s sidekick) and Cyborg (another version of him appeared in the Justice League movie). So here’s a quick refresher on the five-man team.

  • Robin: Leader of the Teen Titans, with extraordinary martial arts skills, gadgets, and crime-fighting experience
  • Starfire: Has the standard flight/super strength/energy beams suite of powers, and is an alien from another planet
  • Raven: A goth girl who wields magic and psychic powers
  • Beast Boy: A green-skinned shapeshifter who often transforms into green animals
  • Cyborg: A literal cyborg who can talk to machines and transform his mechanical parts into different weapons or tools

Their powers span quite the gamut, giving them the ability to deal with different situations in a variety of ways (instead of clobbering their enemies into defeat). But how do the Teen Titans stack up to other superhero teams in a fight?

We’re rooting for the Titans!

 

1. Teen Titans vs the Suicide Squad

Suicide Squad. Credit: Golden Village Cinemas

Suicide Squad. Credit: Golden Village Cinemas

How would the young Teen Titans fare against the Suicide Squad? Well, let’s look at the make-up of the Suicide Squad. They’re all kinds of B-lister human villains (Harley Quinn, Deadshot, Captain Boomerang, Rick Flag, Katana) with no superpowers, with the exception of:

  • El Diablo: control over fire
  • Killer Croc: super strength and toughness

Granted, the Suicide Squad has more members and they’re older and more ruthless than the Teen Titans. But if we’re to be realistic… the human members could quickly be taken down by Cyborg (he could just short-circuit or commandeer their equipment). That leaves Killer Croc, who can be easily outmuscled by Starfire, and El Diablo, who could be taken down by magic from Raven.

Teen Titans Go!

Teen Titans: 1, Suicide Squad: 0

 

2. Teen Titans vs the Justice League 

The Justice League in Teen Titans Go! To The Movies. Credit: Golden Village Cinemas

The Justice League in Teen Titans Go! To The Movies. Credit: Golden Village Cinemas

Even if we were to trim the Justice League down to just their five most famous members (Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Flash, Green Lantern)… it’d be a wash. Superman alone could take down the Teen Titans, so giving him additional assistance from the other superheroes would just make the thrashing even worse.

What if we were to exclude Superman? Well, Batman would definitely take down Robin, while Wonder Woman would trounce Starfire for sure. Flash and Green Lantern are known for working well together as best buddies, so their teamwork would be more than enough to stop Beast Boy, Cyborg, and Raven. It’s hard to stop a guy who has super speed and another one who can create anything he imagines!

Sorry Teen Titans. You’re not beating the Justice League, not by a long shot.

Teen Titans: 0, Justice League: 1

 

3. Teen Titans vs the Avengers

The Avengers. Credit: Marvel Movies Wikia

The Avengers. Credit: Marvel Movies Wikia

How would the Teen Titans fare against their distinguished competition? That really depends on which incarnation we’re talking about.

If we look at the first film line-up of Avengers, consisting of Captain America, Iron Man, Hulk, Thor, Black Widow, and Hawkeye, it’d be a tough fight. Captain America, Black Widow, and Hawkeye could probably be easily taken down by any two Titans. Cyborg could control Iron Man’s armour and use him against the other Avengers, and Robin could assist in taking down the less powerful members.

That leaves the two heavy-hitters, Thor and Hulk. It’d be useless for the Teen Titans to go head-to-head against them, since their strongest member (Starfire) doesn’t even come close to their strength levels. But as we saw in Avengers: Age of Ultron, the Avengers are fairly susceptible to magic and psychic attacks – Raven’s specialty. So while Beast Boy and Starfire distract the two big guns of the Avengers, Raven could stealthily go in for the kill and stop them. The Teen Titans would eke out a victory if they strategised properly!

Expanded Avengers roster. Credit: Express and Marvel

Expanded Avengers roster. Credit: Express and Marvel

But if we were to pit the Teen Titans against one of the later incarnations of the Avengers in film… that would be a different story. Besides dealing with the raw physical power of Thor and Hulk, they’d have to contend with the mystic might of Doctor Strange, the cosmic capabilities of Vision, and even the agility and cunning of Spider-Man.

Against anything other than the first team of Avengers, the Teen Titans would lose. So we’d call it a draw between the Teen Titans and the Avengers.

Teen Titans: -, Avengers: –

 

4. Teen Titans vs Guardians of the Galaxy

Guardians of the Galaxy. Credit: Golden Village Cinemas

Guardians of the Galaxy. Credit: Golden Village Cinemas

Against the Guardians of the Galaxy, the Teen Titans would probably fare pretty well. The Guardians only really have two super-powered members – Groot the tree-humanoid and Mantis the psychic. Everyone else is really just some variation of a skilled fighter, just that they’re of different alien races (Star Lord, Gamora, Rocket Raccoon, Drax, Nebula).

But the Guardians have one big disadvantage – their leader. Star Lord is an utter nincompoop who actually makes teams less effective. Remember Avengers: Infinity War? Remember how they almost got the Infinity Gauntlet off Thanos’ fist? If not for Star Lord’s idiotic meddling, Thanos would have actually have been defeated.

Without Star Lord, the Guardians of the Galaxy might actually have a fighting chance against the Teen Titans. But with Star Lord on the Guardians’ roster, they’d go down hard.

Titans Together!

Teen Titans: 1, GOTG: 0

 

5. Teen Titans vs X-Men

X-Men (2000). Credit: The Obsessive Viewer

X-Men (2000). Credit: The Obsessive Viewer

Like the Avengers, the X-Men have gone through many iterations. So let’s take the very first film version of the X-Men and pit them against the Teen Titans. If you’ve forgotten, their team roster runs thus:

  • Professor X: powerful mental abilities
  • Cyclops: eye beams
  • Wolverine: fast healing, adamantium claws
  • Storm: weather powers
  • Jean Grey: psychic powers
  • Rogue: can steal the powers of others by touching them

The most dangerous X-Men are Storm and Professor X, who have to be taken down before they can react. We can assume that Beast Boy, being able to metamorph into any creature, can turn into a cheetah and mow down Storm and Professor X before they move.

That leaves Cyclops, Wolverine, Rogue, and Jean Grey for Robin, Starfire, Raven, and Cyborg to defeat.

Honestly, Cyclops can be taken down quite easily by any skilled fighter, such as Robin. Wolverine and Rogue may be dangerous in hand-to-hand combat, but Raven can use magic to down them from a distance. Cyborg and Starfire would be more than a match for Jean Grey.

The Teen Titans would triumph against the original X-Men.

Poster for X-Men Apocalypse. Credit: Golden Village Cinemas

Poster for X-Men Apocalypse. Credit: Golden Village Cinemas

If we were to include the expanded team of X-Men, they would be defeated by sheer numbers alone. Just look at how many X-Men are in the team! The Teen Titans would also have to deal with Storm, Professor X, and Magneto simultaneously – which would be difficult for any of the superhero teams above to handle, let alone the Teen Titans.

They’d win against the X-Men of the first film, but they might not be able to defeat subsequent iterations of the merry mutants.

Which brings us to the total score:

Teen Titans: 4, Other Teams: 3

Teen Titans Go! To The Movies. Credit: Golden Village Cinemas

Teen Titans Go! To The Movies. Credit: Golden Village Cinemas

But to see how skilled the Teen Titans really are, you need to see them in their latest animated feature, Teen Titans Go! To The Movies! Jealous of other superheroes with their own movies, the Teen Titans set out to get another movie made about them (after Teen Titans: Trouble in Tokyo) (and not counting the upcoming live-action Titans). However, hijinks ensue – and an old villain returns to menace their latest endeavour! Will the Teen Titans be done in by one of their most persistent menaces? Will they ever be as respected as their more adult counterparts, the Justice League? Why have they mysteriously forgotten about the other two movies about them?

Find out in Teen Titans Go! To The Movies!

(also, the Justice League makes a cameo!)

 

For more superhero goodness, check out some of our other interesting articles!

 

Credit: Marvel Movies Wikia, Express, The Obsessive Reviewer, Golden Village Cinemas

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