A spy’s life is perfect. You get to travel to exotic locations. Your job scope includes seducing (and being seduced by) beautiful people like Mila Kunis. You also get to dump beautiful people like the douchebag in The Spy Who Dumped Me. All in all, it’s a pretty good gig!

Who wouldn’t want to sign up to be a spy? But before you apply to the Security and Intelligence Division (a MINDEF branch so secret that even the leaders are not known to the public) (even MI6 has a website) for a job, you should take a week off to carefully reflect on your personality and the requirements of the job. This will be a life-changing decision, so you will need plenty of contemplation before deciding if you want to be a spy. Are you cut out for it? Are you ready for the rigours of being a special agent? Are you prepared to disappear from the face of the Earth?

Or you could take our test below to see if you’d fit the bill as a spy. You never know, this might just be the career change you’ve been waiting for!

 

1. What do you like to wear?

Eggsy (Taron Egerton) and Harry Hart (Colin Firth) in Kingsman: The Secret Service. Credit: Boss Hunting

Eggsy (Taron Egerton) and Harry Hart (Colin Firth) in Kingsman: The Secret Service. Credit: Boss Hunting

Clothes maketh a man (or a woman, we’re not discriminating), so you need to look the part before you can play the part.

A. A dapper suit or an elegant gown. You never know when you might need to attend a black tie event.

B. Formal office clothes from H&M. Cheap and good.

C. Singlet and shorts (the shorter the better). Singapore very hot you know?!

 

2. How hot is your bod?

James Bond (Daniel Craig) in Casino Royale. Credit: Timeout

James Bond (Daniel Craig) in Casino Royale. Credit: Timeout

As a spy, you will frequently find yourself emerging from the sea or swimming pools. It’s important that you look good without clothes.

A. I am a former Mr Universe/Miss Universe.

B. I have the metabolism (and abs) of a 17-year-old.

C. I look like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man without clothes.

 

3. How well can you fight?

Susan Cooper (Melissa McCarthy) in Spy. Credit: Carbon Costume

Susan Cooper (Melissa McCarthy) in Spy. Credit: Carbon Costume

As a spy, you will inevitably need to get into some brawls.

A. My hands have been certified as lethal weapons.

B. I have gotten into bar room brawls and walked away with a few cuts and bruises.

C. I got banned from MMA tournaments because I kept crying.

 

4. How good are you in the art of seduction?

James Bond (Sean Connery) and Pussy Galore (Honor Blackman) in Goldfinger. Credit: Live Mint

James Bond (Sean Connery) and Pussy Galore (Honor Blackman) in Goldfinger. Credit: Live Mint

Being able to manipulate the most primal instinct of human beings will be a potent weapon in your arsenal. 

A. I am well-versed and well-practised in the Kama Sutra.

B. I have done everything you have seen in Korean romantic melodramas.

C. I proposed to my significant other by saying “Want to buy HDB flat?”

 

5. Do you like trying out new technology?

Maxwell Smart (Steve Carell) in Get Smart. Credit: Collider

Maxwell Smart (Steve Carell) in Get Smart. Credit: Collider

Spy tools are often on the bleeding edge of scientific advancement. Especially when your fountain pen turns out to be a laser gun.

A. Elon Musk is my best friend. Some people say I am a futurist.

B. I always have the latest mobile phone. Unless it is an exploding Samsung one.

C. My laptop can play CDs.

 

6. How good-looking are you?

Napoleon Solo (Henry Cavill) in The Man from U.N.C.L.E. Credit: Henry Cavill

Napoleon Solo (Henry Cavill) in The Man from U.N.C.L.E. Credit: Henry Cavill

Have you seen an ugly spy before? If you have chiselled features and a symmetrical face, people are going to want to talk to you – which is exactly what you want as a spy.

A. My Instagram account has 50,000 genuine followers.

B. I was on Channel 8’s 校园美魔王 before, but I wasn’t crowned as Mr/Ms Gorgeous.

C. My mother always says I am good-looking. Does that count?

 

7. How well can you think on your feet?

Xander Cage (Vin Diesel) in xXx: Return of Xander Cage. Credit: New York Times

Xander Cage (Vin Diesel) in xXx: Return of Xander Cage. Credit: New York Times

Things are going to go wrong very often, very quickly. How well you can improvise will determine your success in missions.

A. My motto is “Change is the only constant”.

B. One of my themes from the Clifton StrengthsFinder is “Adaptability”.

C. I broke down when Tanglin was cancelled. Why can’t it go on forever?

 

8. Are you good at extreme sports?

Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) in Mission: Impossible - Fallout. Credit: Indie Wire

Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) in Mission: Impossible – Fallout. Credit: Indie Wire

Every spy has to leap off a plane in a parachute at some point. You need to be comfortable with doing high-risk sports.

A. I don’t just go sky-diving every month – I teach sky-diving.

B. I have gone zorbing (rolling down a hill in a giant transparent inflatable ball) before.

C. I can ride a bicycle with no hands for three seconds.

 

9. Can you leave someone you love?

Austin Powers (Mike Myers) in Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery. Credit: Cinema 1544

Austin Powers (Mike Myers) in Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery. Credit: Cinema 1544

Spies often get caught up in romantic entanglements that require them to part with those they love. Do you have the heart to do that?

A. Duty comes before passion, so I will leave those I love if I have to.

B. I don’t want to brag, but I don’t just have one night stands, if you know what I mean.

C. I am still crying from my previous break-up four years ago.

 

10. Can you keep secrets?

Jason Bourne (Matt Damon) in Jason Bourne. Credit: Time

Jason Bourne (Matt Damon) in Jason Bourne. Credit: Time

This is probably the most important quality of a spy. Stealing and keeping secrets. Do you know when to talk and when to keep mum?

A. I will take all my secrets along with me to my grave.

B. I don’t engage in gossip when people confide in me.

C. I post all my WhatsApp conversations on Facebook. It’s funny!

 

Scoring

Mostly A’s: You could be the next Ethan Hunt! Or Pussy Galore, if you’re old enough to know who that is.

Mostly B’s: You would do well as a spy, but you probably won’t excel in it.

Mostly C’s: Singapore’s national security would implode if you were ever hired to be a secret agent.

The Spy Who Dumped Me. Credit: Golden Village Cinemas

The Spy Who Dumped Me. Credit: Golden Village Cinemas

If you’re cut out to be a spy, great! But if you’re not, what’s the next best thing? Being the girlfriend/boyfriend of a spy, just like Audrey (Mila Kunis) in The Spy Who Dumped Me. However, you should make sure that you know that your significant other is a spy! Audrey certainly didn’t, and she finds herself caught up in a terrible assassination plot when her ex-boyfriend turns up with killers on the heel. She finds out that he’s a CIA agent – and that they have to run for their lives across Europe since there are people hunting him down.

Will Audrey and friends manage to escape? Will she display better judgement in boyfriends in the future? Will Audrey, in fact, become a spy in The Spy Who Dumped Me?

That’s a secret we’re keeping for now.

 

 

Credits: Timeout, Boss Hunting, Carbon Costume, Indie Wire, The New York Times, Henry Cavill, Live Mint, Collider, Golden Village Cinemas, Cinema 1544, Time

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