Valentine’s Day ushered in the season of love, romance and hackneyed stereotypes last Sunday. Just like horoscopes, the millions of couples who were out on a date could be broken down into seven broad, sweeping categories. Maybe after that, you’d want to learn How To Be Single.

But what are those seven types of couples that you’ll see in every restaurant? And most importantly, which category did you fall in?

1. The First Date

You could fit another person in between them. Credit: Her Campus

You could fit another person in between them. Credit: Her Campus

Shy, awkward, and barely making eye contact, this couple is so overly polite that they could win the Friend of Singa award twice (meaning they’d win it four times, since each of them would win it twice). It’s like watching a will-they-or-won’t-they drama serial unfold in slow motion as they ask each other about hobbies, personality quirks and random get-to-know-you questions.

Bonus points if you catch them kissing at the end!

2. The Cheapos

How much can $8.45 buy at a restaurant? Credit: MidLife Bachelor

How much can $8.45 buy at a restaurant? Credit: MidLife Bachelor

This couple has obviously been together for a while, seeing as which neither partner opposes saving money on romance. This isn’t the same as the “picnic in the park” kind of date, which is cheap (guys, protip here!) but very romantic. No no no, the Cheapos are those who order the minimum possible at the restaurant and then have ice water for drinks (so any establishment that charges for water won’t be seeing this couple there), so as to have their date night and still save up for a HDB flat.

There’s nothing wrong in inexpensive dates though! Just be wary of the scornful looks that your server will give you after you ask for your fifth refill of ice water.

3. The Oversharers

You can hear their every breath. Credit: Brian Edwards Media

You can hear their every breath. Credit: Brian Edwards Media

They talk as if a giant dinosaur was standing in between them. Their conversation can sometimes overpower yours due to the sheer volume, and you can actually spend your own date in silence just listening to them talk about their lives. The worst part is, no topics are taboo for this couple – they’ll talk about horrific rashes, unhygienic habits and who Auntie Soh is quarrelling with this week.

By the end of their date, you’ll have enough information to open another Facebook account for each of them.

4. The Boring

Perfectly predictable. Credit: Huzband

Perfectly predictable. Credit: Huzband

On the other end of the spectrum is the Boring Date, where they’re so milquetoast you might even forget they’re there. You won’t even notice them until they’re gone, and even then you’ll sort of forget that they were there in the first place. They’re not bad people, they’re probably both just engineers.

They’ll be the ones who prop up Singapore’s population growth, though!

5. The Physical

My mouth is bigger! Credit: Buzzlamp

My mouth is bigger! Credit: Buzzlamp

It’s like someone switched to a cable channel you shouldn’t be watching. They’ll spend more time eating each other than eating their meals, and you’ll very often learn a trick or two just by watching them. They’re obviously very comfortable with each other and themselves (a less polite word would be “oblivious”).

At least they’re in love, unlike…

6. The Soon-To-Be-Singles

"I've told you a hundred times already!" Credit: John Westley

“I’ve told you a hundred times already!” Credit: John Westley

Admittedly, it can be quite entertaining sitting next to this couple. They’ll dredge up old grievances and fire some really low blows as they proceed to ruin their dinner with blazing tantrums. Generally, their arguments are along the lines of “you did something stupid again!” and it comes complete with banging cutlery and angry finger pointing. It might get a little uncomfortable as their volume increases, but you can generally map out a rough timeline of their relationship progression as they bring up previous fights into this quarrel.

Makes good fodder for a book.

7. The True Valentine

Aw... Credit: BoldSky

Aw… Credit: BoldSky

And to top it off, at least one couple per restaurant on Valentine’s Day will propose. Be it through a ring in champagne, dessert, or just old-fashioned kneeling, they’ll receive a round of applause if the lady says yes. It’s couples like these who make us believe in true love again.

Spoils the market for the rest of us though.

How To Be Single... & Gorgeous! Credit: Golden Village Cinemas

How To Be Single… & Gorgeous! Credit: Golden Village Cinemas

If you’re not in the mood for love, then catch How To Be Single, a comedy about singlehood sisterhood in New York City. It stars Rebel Wilson and Dakota Johnson (yes, that girl from 50 Shades of Grey!) as they prowl New York City.

In fact, you can even learn from them with the How To Be Single and Gorgeous Ladies Night event on February 19, exclusively for Golden Village members!

You get a goodie bag with DrGL Cleanser Hair Anti-Hairloss, DrGL Toner Anti-aging, DrGL Collagen Essence and a $20 DrGL voucher. There’s even ELIE SAAB Rose Couture EDT Fragrance Vials included. And ladies stand to win a Toni & Guy hair makeover worth $150, Redken hair product hamper worth $80 OR ELIE SAAB Full Size Rose Couture EDT, worth $169!

Are you ready to learn How To Be Single and Gorgeous?

Credits: Her Campus, MidLife Bachelor, Brian Edwards Media, HuzbandBuzzLamp, John Westley, BoldSky, Golden Village Cinemas