Victor Frankenstein is a modern day adaptation of the classic story of Frankenstein. While that Scandinavian-set tale might be easily transposed to an English setting, it would definitely not weather a shift to a Singaporean setting. There are just too many restrictions that Singapore would impose on Dr Frankenstein’s work.

Don’t believe us? We’ll walk through you why Dr Frankenstein would be arrested even before he could utter “It’s alive!”

1. We cremate everyone

Mandai Crematorium. Credit: The Straits Times

Mandai Crematorium. Credit: The Straits Times

The whole basis of Frankenstein’s monster is that it’s made up of various body parts looted from different corpses. That’s the keyword – corpses. We cremate everyone, so Dr Frankenstein would have to scratch build his monster out of ash. Then again, he could always mix that ash with water and make a clay golem, but that would be a totally different story.

2. HOTA would take away critical organs

Even Frankenstein's monster needs  some human organs. Credit: Financial Tribune

Even Frankenstein’s monster needs some human organs. Credit: Financial Tribune

The Human Organ Transplant Act (HOTA) would mean that even if Dr Frankenstein managed to loot some corpses, he would have tremendous difficulty finding a working kidney, liver, heart and eyes. While Frankenstein’s monster might not need a kidney, liver or heart, he would probably need some eyes to see who it was mangling.

3. The elements would rot Frankie’s monster away

Singapore has one of the highest occurrences of lightning activity in the world, but... Credit: Sporcle

Singapore has one of the highest occurrences of lightning activity in the world, but… Credit: Sporcle

If you remember the story of Frankenstein, a key element in bringing the monster to life was electricity. Singapore has one of the highest concentrations of lightning activity in the world, sure, but what about the humidity? Dr Frankenstein would need one of those rooftop locations to harness the lightning but that would expose the body to the elements. By the time he has successfully gotten a bolt of lightning to work for him, the monster’s parts would literally have melted away in the tropical heat.

4. A concrete jungle is hard to hide in

Can you spot Frankenstein's monster? Credit: Gordonator

Can you spot Frankenstein’s monster? Credit: Gordonator

The original Frankenstein’s monster was 8 feet tall – 2.4 metres by our metric system. Where would a 2.4 metre tall monster hide in highly urbanised Singapore? Our door frames definitely aren’t that high. Even if Frankenstein’s monster lay flat on the ground, some of us can’t even clear 2.4 metres in a standing broad jump. We’d be tripping over Frankenstein’s monster, or he’d be bumping his head against every ceiling in town.

Unless he went to Coney Island, but then he’d have very little to eat except for a lone cow (that’s difficult to find, I hear).

5. Not many science labs to build giant monsters in

It would be difficult to build Frankenstein's monster here. Credit: Today Online

It would be difficult to build Frankenstein’s monster here. Credit: Today Online

To build a creature of such complexity, Dr Frankenstein would need the latest in laboratory equipment. The most ideal place would be A*STAR, but it’s unlikely that the government would allow such a project to take place. Dr Frankenstein would therefore need to find a science lab to secretly build his monster in. He could use a school science lab, but he’d have to complete the project within the school holidays – no mean feat considering how many school camps would be taking place right next door.

6. Frankenstein’s monster wouldn’t need a girlfriend

If only speed dating existed during Mary Shelly's time. Credit: Vulcan Post

If only speed dating existed during Mary Shelly’s time. Credit: Vulcan Post

Part of the reason why Frankenstein’s monster is so angry with him in the novel is due to love. Dr Frankenstein promises to build his monster a girlfriend, but chickens out at the last minute and destroys her. If the government got wind of Dr Frankenstein’s project, they’d be sending him an SDN (Social Development Network, formerly the Social Development Unit) letter in no time. After all, Frankenstein’s monster would be considered Singaporean, since he was created here. Frankenstein’s monster could then go on all the speed dates he wanted.

7. The story would have an awful title

Imagine if this was "Mok's monster." Credit: Time

Imagine if this was “Mok’s monster.” Credit: Time

Admit it – Frankenstein is a pretty cool surname to have. It’s evocative of a Gothic setting and haunting imagery. But we have no such surnames here. If it really did take place, the monster would be called “Muthu’s monster” or “Mah’s monster” or “Mohammed’s monster.” Seriously, we’d be calling him Dr Victor Lim or something. All that horror and mystique would be gone. We’d be too busy laughing at the doctor and the monster’s name to be frightened. At worst, someone would Stomp that monster and the Internet vigilantes would hunt him down via Instagram.

Victor Frankenstein poster. Credit: Golden Village Cinemas

Victor Frankenstein poster. Credit: Golden Village Cinemas

Fortunately, Dr Frankenstein retains his name in the movie adaptation. Will it turn out to be as good as the original story? You’ll have to catch Victor Frankenstein to find out!

Credits: The Straits Times, Financial Tribune, Sporcle, Gordonator, Today Online, Vulcan Post, Time, Golden Village Cinemas, National Environment Agency