While the humans in Jurassic World are pretty silly for attempting tried and true tactics of massacring large numbers of civilians (i.e., building a theme park with genetically enhanced dinosaurs), they’re pretty smart at surviving. Well, at least the four main characters – Owen, Claire, Gray, and Zach – manage to survive all manner of dinosaur attacks.

So I carefully observed their survival tactics and formulated some tips for surviving a dinosaur apocalypse. In the unlikely event of a dinosaur invasion in sunny Singapore (maybe there’s a secret genetics research facility on one of our islands), here’s seven things that Jurassic World taught me to do when confronted by Tyrannosaurus rexes and Velociraptors.

1) Douse yourself in something pungent

Gray (Ty Simpkins) and Zach (Nick Robinson) in "Jurassic World" could pass off as smelly kids. Credits: comingsoon.net

Gray (Ty Simpkins) and Zach (Nick Robinson) in “Jurassic World” could pass off as smelly kids. Credit: comingsoon.net

Dinosaurs employ many senses when hunting humans, including smell, so just because they can’t see you, doesn’t mean they can’t smell you. So spray yourself with sewage, petroleum, or a hefty amount of truffle oil and hide yourself from the sharp noses of dinosaurs.

2) Hide under large objects, not behind them

Owen (Chris Pratt) and Claire (Bryce Dallas Howard) surmise that nobody could have been hiding underneath that in "Jurassic World." Credits: comingsoon.net

Owen (Chris Pratt) and Claire (Bryce Dallas Howard) surmise that nobody could have been hiding underneath that vehicle in Jurassic World. Credit: comingsoon.net

You see, while dinosaurs might be able to circle large objects, they’re usually too big to go under them. That’s where our advantage as humans lie – getting into places too small for dinosaurs to get into. If they circle an vehicle, for instance, and see (and smell) nothing, they’ll wander off in boredom rather than searching under it.

3) Hide under water

The Tylosaurus in "Jurassic World." Credits: whendinosaursruledthemind.wordpress.com

The Tylosaurus in Jurassic World. Credit: whendinosaursruledthemind.wordpress.com

Dinosaurs tend not to go chasing after humans who hold their breath underwater. Water also hides you from sight and smell if you can last underwater. Bonus points if you dive into a waterfall, then hide underwater for a while after that. Note: this obviously will not work against aquatic dinosaurs.

4) Use electricity

Zach wonders if he can find a cattle prod in "Jurassic World." Credits: comingsoon.net

Zach wonders if he can find a cattle prod in “Jurassic World.” Credit: comingsoon.net

Somehow, dinosaur hides are far more resistant to fire than they are to electricity. Maybe it’s because there weren’t too many sources of electricity in the prehistoric era, but there were plenty of chances to get burnt by fires. In any case, a flamethrower’s not going to work against the tough hide of a Velociraptor, but oddly a cattle prod will. So load up on those stun guns! Caution: do not try this with aquatic dinosaurs as well, as you’re likely to electrocute yourself too.

5) Hide indoors

The "Jurassic World" finds that hiding indoors isn't too effective this time around. Credits: comingsoon.net

The Jurassic World crew finds that hiding indoors isn’t too effective this time around. Credit: comingsoon.net

In the wild, dinosaurs are at home amongst the lush greenery of forests. And logs and trees pose no obstacle to them, but plenty of hindrance for us. Indoors however, we’re at the advantage. We know how to work doors and corridors, and while dinosaurs may be strong enough to batter down walls, they won’t try because they don’t know that they can. So stay indoors as much as possible! If you can reach higher floors, so much the better, since the Indominus rex can’t scale such heights and nom you.

6) Distract dinosaurs with bright lights

Claire hopes the signal flare will distract in "Jurassic World." Credits: comingsoon.net

Claire hopes the signal flare will distract in Jurassic World. Credit: comingsoon.net

Dinosaurs are ultimately animals after all, and chase after bright lights like kittens to a torchlight. Light a flare and throw it as far as you can before running in the opposite direction, and the Tyrannosaurus rex will go after it and not you. Don’t have a signal flare handy? Activate the flashlight function on your iPhone and fling away. You can always post that selfie on Instagram when you’re not running for your life.

7) Use other dinosaurs to distract them

Indominus rex vs Pteranodons. Credits: comingsoon.net

Indominus rex vs Pteranodons. Credit: comingsoon.net

In a pinch, run into the path of another dinosaur and watch the two prehistoric creatures duke it out, with nary a glance back at the fleshy human. This only works with dinosaurs of differing species – if you lure a dinosaur into the path of another dinosaur of the same species, they’ll gang up on you instead.

For other dinosaur survival tips, check out Jurassic World now at Golden Village Theatres and learn from the pros!

Sources: comingsoon.net, whendinosaursruledthemind.wordpress.com