In Max Steel, teenager Max bonds with alien Steel and gains super powers. As Spider-Man III has shown us with that evil black alien costume, no good can come of alien symbiotes… right? Well, Max and Steel are here to dispel that notion as they right wrongs and save lives with their newfound powers. Come to think of it, Max took it pretty well. Most people would scream if a tiny cockroach tried to bond with them, let alone a pretty large alien symbiote.

But we Singaporeans are a very practical nation. Faced with an alien bonding with us, we would be completely nonchalant about the superpowers and go straight to getting rid of it or trying to cash in on it. Here are six ways Singaporeans would react to an alien symbiote trying to fuse with them. You know that’s how you’d react, too.

1. Post a picture of it on Facebook and ask everyone if they know what it is

We Facebook every day. Credit: AR Webzone

We Facebook every day. Credit: AR Webzone

In the old days we would send chain SMSes and ask people to spread the word. Now, we just post a picture of it on Facebook and hope the collective intelligence of the Internet will be able to tell us what it is. Being of alien origin, it is unlikely that anyone in Singapore, or even the world, would know what it is. But if there’s one thing that Facebook has taught us, it’s that anything is possible. Missing cameras can be returned and long-lost daughters reunited with their fathers on Facebook.

So what a Singaporean would do is to post a picture on Facebook and ask what it is. The grosser it is, the faster it will spread.

2. Write a complaint letter to CDC

You really don't want to come here. Credit: Tan Tock Seng Hospital

You really don’t want to come here. Credit: Tan Tock Seng Hospital

Our national past time, besides eating, is complaining. So the first thing someone will do is to write in to the Communicable Disease Centre (CDC), or the Ministry of Health, and berate them for not implementing measures to stop the spread of this alien symbiote. They are the CDC! Is there no fivev-Minute Alien Wipeout that all Singaporeans can do to ensure the alien does not spread?

The second thing that person will do is to actually ask what the alien is and whether it is a disease or not.

3. STOMP 

Stomp! Credit: Blog.nus

Stomp! Credit: Blog.nus

Touted as a citizen journalism website, it’s affiliated with Singapore’s most well-read newspaper and they will put an irritating watermark over your photo when they post it. If you’re lucky, it might catch the attention of a journalist and you’d be on the news!

4. Go and see a doctor

Not just any doctor. An experienced doctor. Credit: Shutterstock

Not just any doctor. An experienced doctor. Credit: Shutterstock

 

The sensible thing to do when you see an unidentified growth on your body is to go to the doctor “for a jab”. Somehow, the act of being stabbed with a needle just makes us feel better, even if it’s just water being injected into you. It’s partly psychosomatic, and partly because if we’re going through the pain of a long piece of metal poking into our buttocks, it had better work!

A jab is unlikely to do anything against the alien life form, but you will still feel better.

5. Surgically remove it

Surgery in Singapore. Credit: Time

Dr Woffles Wu is a qualified plastic surgeon in Singapore. Credit: Time

If “the jab” doesn’t fix it, then go for an op! We remove everything from moles to unwanted fats in operations these days, so who’s to say an operation can’t take away that alien that’s stuck to your body? Singaporeans go for all sorts of operations these days so really, after writing to CDC and seeing the doctor, this is the next practical thing to do.

It’s also one of the first few things Spider-Man did in the comics when he wanted to remove his black alien costume, so hey, maybe Spider-Man was secretly Singaporean.

6. Bochup it

A good motto. Credit: Carousell

A good motto. Credit: Carousell

Singaporean fathers are notoriously good at ignoring what’s right in front of them, and this can also mean an alien symbiote. So a very Singaporean reaction would just be to to completely ignore what’s happening and go on with life as per normal. Never mind that a giant alien has attached itself to you. No worries.

Aiyah, small thing right?

Max Steel. Credit: Golden Village Cinemas

Max Steel. Credit: Golden Village Cinemas

So check out Max Steel to see how Max the boy deals with Steel the alien when they unexpectedly find themselves symbiotically bonded. It’s not just fun and games for them though, because they need to master their powers before a threat from another galaxy arrives and destroys them. They’re probably not going to be Facebooking their exploits, but it’ll definitely be fun to see how human and alien react in Max Steel!

 

Credits: AR Webzone, Tan Tock Seng Hospital, Blog.nus, Shutterstock, Time, Carousell, Golden Village Cinemas