Underworld: Blood Wars sees the Vampires battling the Werewolves Lycans once again. Werewolves are called Lycans in the Underworld series, as Lycan is a truncation of lycanthrope. If you’re anything like me, you probably spent the first or second movie trying to figure out what “Lycan” was, and only found out what it meant when you got home and Googled it.

But werewolves have existed for centuries. In all that time, don’t you think evolution would have created new, more exciting were-creatures? In fact, if the Underworld series were set in Singapore, it’d probably feature Pontianaks battling – wait, what sort of were-creatures would they fight in Singapore?

Here’s the answer – five different varieties of them.

1. Were-Mosquito

Imagine this crossed with a human. Credit: CDC Facebook Page

Imagine this crossed with a human. Credit: CDC Facebook Page

Imagine a half-man, half-mosquito, like Jeff Goldblum in The Fly. That’s what a Were-Mosquito would look like in Singapore. Now, wolves are relatively hard to find in Singapore, so a Were-Wolf wouldn’t make that much sense.

But a Were-Mosquito? Yes. We’re constantly plagued by the Aedes mosquito (which spreads Dengue and Zika), so it’s not much of a stretch to imagine it turning us into Were-Mosquitoes. With all the vaccines and insecticide and mosquito patches we use, those mosquitoes might just mutate enough to turn us into Were-Mosquitoes…

2. Were-Merlion

The Merlion oversees the harbour. Credit: Red Duck Post

The Merlion oversees the mouth of the Singapore River. Credit: Red Duck Post

In all seriousness, a Were-Merlion would really be a chimera – it’d be part fish, part lion, part human. It’d also be difficult to identify, since the human parts have nowhere to go. Human legs? Then the fish part will be gone. Human torso? Then the lion part will be gone too. Does it swim? Does it run? Does it roar?

And how would a Were-Merlion fight? It has no arms or claws, and it spurts water, not fire. It’d be an excellent firefighter, but we wouldn’t bet on it in a battle with a pontianak.

3. Were-Pigeon

So. Many. Pigeons. Credit:   Pigeon World

So. Many. Pigeons. Credit: Pigeon World

Go to any coffeeshop during peak periods and you’ll see a group of pigeons having their meal at some abandoned table full of dishes. It’s a little disturbing to see how much they like human food. In fact, if they liked human food even more, they could even become Were-Pigeons.

They may not sound ferocious, so you can stop laughing now. But there are so many of them, and a mob of Were-Pigeons could take over any town. In fact, we daresay they’d be the cause of a lot of… fowl play in Singapore.

4. Were-Orang-Utan

Would a Were-Orang-Utan be an Orang-Utan-Orang? Credit: Today Facebook Page

Would a Were-Orang-Utan be an Orang-Utan-Orang? Credit: Today Facebook Page

We love our Orang-Utans, and it’s highly possible that a Were-Orang-Utan might lurk somewhere in the Singapore Zoo. Besides being the were-creature with the most number of hyphens in its name, Were-Orang-Utans would also be the most difficult to spot in society. Imagine a cross between a human and an orang-utan. You’d get a very hairy human.

Were-Orang-Utans would be the deadliest creatures of all, since they can camouflage themselves among normal humans. The next time you see a hairy man, be afraid. Be very afraid.

5. Were-Panda

Lazy! Credit: The Great Panda Conspiracy Facebook Page

Lazy! Credit: The Great Panda Conspiracy Facebook Page

And finally, our eternal fascination with pandas could very well lead to the rise of the Were-Pandas. Unfortunately, pandas are one of the most useless creatures on the planet (even though they’re awfully cute). So that means you’d have a cross between an animal that has no protective covering or claws or sharp teeth (humans) and a panda.

A Were-Panda might possibly turn out to be even more ineffective than either of its parent creatures.

Underworld: Blood Wars. Credit: Golden Village Cinemas

Underworld: Blood Wars. Credit: Golden Village Cinemas

So it looks like in a straight up fight, a werewolf would trounce all of these other were-creatures. That’s great, because the Lycans (remember, they’re werewolves) will need all the help they can get against the Vampires! Underworld: Blood Wars sees the possible end of the war between the Vampires and the Lycans, thanks to the efforts of Selene (Kate Beckinsale) and David (Theo James).

But will their daughter survive the ensuing conflict in Underworld: Blood Wars, or will she have to pay the ultimate price?

 

Credits: CDC Facebook Page, Red Duck Post Facebook Page, Pigeon World Facebook Page, Today Facebook Page, The Great Panda Conspiracy Facebook Page, Golden Village Cinemas