Quick – if you were to rob a bank (hypothetically, we’re not encouraging you to!), what would you do?

Spend months and months planning, collecting information, fine-tuning actions, until you were perfectly ready to execute that flawless heist right?

Well, not everyone is as intelligent as you are. For some people, robbing a bank was nothing more than an impulsive (and stupid) decision, which got exacerbated by increasingly bad choices.

Don’t believe us? Check out these bank robbing attempts that went terribly wrong.

 

1. David James Roach – robbed Holland Village’s Standard Chartered Bank but was caught quickly

David James Roach. Credit: Today

David James Roach. Credit: Today

On July 7, 2016, Singapore was rocked by its first bank robbery in 12 years (the previous one happened in 2004).

David James Roach strode into the Holland Village branch of Standard Chartered Bank in a hoodie and cap, handed over a note that read: “This is a robbery, I have a weapon, give me money, don’t call the police” and got away with $30,000 in cash. All without flashing a weapon.

So how did he intend to evade authorities?

By slimming down.

According to the deputy commander of Thailand’s tourist police, Colonel Nithithorn Chintakanon, Roach starved himself and slimmed down to appear different from his passport photo, so as to avoid detection.

Not that we want to point out the obvious – but extreme weight loss is definitely one of the worst ways to try and disguise yourself, especially if you’re going on the run after that.

He got caught three days later anyway.

 

2. Dean Richard Smith – saw cash at Barclays Bank, decided to rob it 30 minutes later

Dean Richard Smith. Credit: Mirror

Dean Richard Smith. Credit: Mirror

We don’t really think you can spend less than a day planning a bank robbery – there’s disguises, escape routes, and the actual robbery itself to figure out.

But on April 15, 2014, Dean Richard Smith took all of 30 minutes to plan his magnificent heist.

Apparently, he was at Barclays Bank in Treorchy (in Wales) to update his address for his bank account, when “he noticed tills full of cash and curiosity got the better of him.”

Unlike the rest of the world, he didn’t walk away and dream of winning the lottery. No no no. He disguised himself by wearing a hoodie, sunglasses, and socks over his shoes – then armed himself with a bread knife and attempted to rob the bank 30 minutes later.

You know what’s the worst part? Smith had to leave empty handed. An old man took pity on him and offered him £20 to leave.

Clearly, more thought was needed for this bank heist.

 

3. Ryan Homsley – robbed a bank, then posted a Facebook status about it

Facebook posts by Ryan Homsley. Credit: Daily Mail

Facebook posts by Ryan Homsley. Credit: Daily Mail

You know how all those articles always advise you not to overshare on Facebook? That’s a piece of sound advice that’s particularly pertinent here.

Ryan Homsley successfully robbed a bank by putting a black box on the teller, along with a note that read: “All the money or boom.”

Then he went home and posted it on Facebook.

Granted, this was on September 22 in 2010, so he didn’t have to pay for Facebook Ads to make sure that his friends could read his status. But he went one step further and even posted news links about stories of the bank robbery, and even a CCTV shot of his face. All this was, according to a later interview, an attempt to be daring and play “catch me if you can” with the police.

And then Homsley robbed a second bank on August 25, 2013 – less than a week after he had been released from prison for his first offence.

It’s true that the poor guy was diabetic, and he was desperate for money to pay for his medical treatments. But still, robbing a bank is arguably even worse for your health.

 

4. Hannah Sabata – robbed a bank, stole drugs, stole a car, then made a YouTube video about it

This self-professed bank robber got away with quite a few crimes in Nebraska in December 2012.

After which she decided to make a YouTube video about it all and proclaim her misdeeds to the world.

We’re not very sure what’s worse – the fact that she YouTubed it all, or that she couldn’t even operate the camera well enough to record herself properly (the image has been flipped from right to left, so she added subtitles later to make it clear what her handwritten notes said).

“It was the best day of (my) life,” she told her mum.

We’re not quite sure if a prison sentence was a worthy price to pay.

 

5. Daniel Rahynes – handed over his identification before trying to rob a bank

Daniel Rahynes. Credit: Daily Mail

Daniel Rahynes. Credit: Daily Mail

And last but not least is Daniel Rahynes, who wanted to open a bank account at Metro Bank in Pennsylvania, handed over two forms of identification to a teller, started filling in an application form – then announced that he was there to rob the bank.

We’re not sure if this was all a carefully planned attempt to catch the tellers off guard, or if it was one of the most impulsive decisions in the history of mankind.

Needless to say, the stunned tellers handed over some cash.

This was in March 2011. He was arrested later on the same day, for suspicions of driving under the influence.

What tipped them off? He was in a hit-and-run car crash earlier that day.

Not too sure if Rahynes was high when it all happened, but it certainly sounds like it.

 

Den of Thieves. Credit: Golden Village Cinemas

Den of Thieves. Credit: Golden Village Cinemas

We certainly hope the heist in Den of Thieves is more successful than the real-life ones we’ve shown! This heist film depicts a robbery attempt on the Federal Reserve Bank of downtown Los Angeles, and the subsequent attempts by Sheriff Big Nick (Gerard Butler) to stop it from happening.

Will the robbery be successful? Will Big Nick be able to bring down this Den of Thieves?

At least the robbery will be more well-planned than the ones above.

 

Credits: Today, Daily Mail, Mirror, Daily Mail, Golden Village Cinemas

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