Singapore’s a tiny island nation that, against all odds, flourished into the amazing country that it is today. We’re basically underdogs who always manage to punch above our weight class. So if there’s one country that can defeat Godzilla, it’d be Singapore!

Stop laughing. It’s true. We wiped out kidnappings. Banned chewing gum for the good of our trains (imagine how many more breakdowns we would have now if we had to deal with doors that can’t close because of chewing gum!). And most impressively, we created a language, Singlish, that regularly adds words to the Oxford Dictionary every year. Godzilla is just some giant radioactive lizard. We can stop him.

And here’s five creative ways we could do it!

1. Send our defective trains as bombs against Godzilla

Our trains. Credit: Today Online

Our trains. Credit: Today Online

In Shin Godzilla, the protagonists load up trains with bombs and ram Godzilla with them. But we have something better. Remember those defective SMRT trains with the exploding batteries? We could just send those against Godzilla. We don’t need to go through the extra step of putting bombs on the trains, because they’ll explode anyway. When life hands you lemons, you make lemonade, and that’s what we’d do when Godzilla comes.

The downside is that if Godzilla doesn’t come, we’ll need to send those defective trains for repair.

2. Trap Godzilla in the Sports Hub

A roof over our heads. Credit: Wallpaper*

A roof over our heads. Credit: Wallpaper*

How would the giant behemoth even enter the Sports Hub you ask? Good question. So the new National Stadium has a retractable roof, right? We can put something radioactive in the stadium itself (since mobile phones supposedly give off radiation, a few Pokemon GO lures in the middle of the stadium should do the trick) and open the retractable roof. When Godzilla arrives, close the retractable roof.

Voila! Godzilla is trapped! We’d need to quickly evacuate the thousands of mobile phone users inside though, so setting a few Pokemon GO lures outside the stadium would be a cheap and easy way to do it.

3. Trick Godzilla into drinking unrefined Newater

All that Newater... Credit: Singapore 2100

All that Newater… Credit: Singapore 2100

Unrefined Newater is basically sewer water. Living creatures all need water, so dumping large barrels of unrefined Newater near Godzilla would be enough to make him drink. Drinking sewage is like drinking rubbish, so that’d be a fast but anti-climactic way of defeating Godzilla. And it’s also a good way of solving our sewage issues.

See, never listen to all those times your mother told you not to drink rubbish right? When Godzilla dies from literally drinking rubbish, you’ll thank her for her nagging.

4. Lure Godzilla into the noonday sun

The ferocious sun. Credit Lyanlua.com

The ferocious sun. Credit Lyanlua.com

Remember our scorching temperatures just earlier this year? In Shin Godzilla, one of the features of Godzilla’s anatomy is that he has vents that help him to cool down. In other words, Godzilla is at risk of overheating thanks to the biological nuclear reactor in his body. So what we’d need to do is to lure Godzilla out into the noonday sun and watch the temperature kill Godzilla with heatstroke.

The small problem with this plan is that he has a nuclear reactor in his body – so if he overheats to death, we might just have a nuclear explosion on our hands.

5. Lure Godzilla into the MCE (Marina Coastal Expressway)

Deep in the MCE. Credit: Today Online

Deep in the MCE. Credit: Today Online

Back when the MCE first opened, we humans couldn’t quite navigate the giant underground tunnel, leading to severe traffic jams. That should show you how confusing the expressway is, because even with road signs, we couldn’t make our way through. Now, since Godzilla can’t read, we can lure him into the MCE and shut all the exits. He won’t be able to read the road signs to escape, and will be doomed to wander the tunnels like the mythical Minotaur in the Labyrinth.

The problem with that would be – how do we go from the ECP to the AYE if Godzilla’s inside the MCE?

Shin: Godzilla. Credit: Golden Village Cinemas

Shin: Godzilla. Credit: Golden Village Cinemas

The heroes of Shin Godzilla come up with a different (but no less creative) plan to defeat Godzilla in the film, one that doesn’t involve Pokemon GO lures or closed off expressways. Still, Godzilla wreaks plenty of havoc before he gets put down, and goes through several stages of evolution too! Nobody feeds him any Godzilla candies though.

If you want to see all the different forms of Godzilla’s evolution, then catch Shin Godzilla! Then tell us if you think that they dealt with Godzilla in a creative way – or if Singapore would be more creative in handling Godzilla.

 

Credits: Today Online, Wallpaper*, Singapore 2100, Lyanlua.com, Today Online, Golden Village Cinemas